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bodyguards and assassins. that’s like probably the last material i’ll ever imagine to teach me a lesson. it’s supposed to be a late night kungfu fix..
going back in history and reliving the eventful lives of certain people.. when it’s all about sacrificing for something far beyond self, and the courage to even be doing it. and then i log onto fb, seeing posts of friends with friends over nice dinners, or, party shots, or the new expensive bag. i mean, there’s really nothing wrong with fortunate people enjoying lives as they deserve / are born into. when happy lives around me play out like that, it’s just so easy to forget about the disparity of those other people, well actually the majority if i can say, who are in the polar opposite of the comfort scale. i’m feeling really guilty.. because i’ve been aware. i was in touch. where is it now? it could just be a poor excuse to simply escape from this reality. maybe i’m just lazy to do something. or maybe.. maybe. i don’t really know the reason, or dare to admit. i’m not sure which.
but i’m sure there is a purpose in my existence. i must be here in this world for a reason. i’m sure, because something in me tells me that. i can feel it. so let’s just stop ignoring this voice. at least i could do with simply being appreciative.. for a start. but for now, i really don’t know what i should do or can do. there’re so many causes to fight for, and every one of it that i bother checking out i really do feel the urge to do something, but it’s impossible. little me can only do so much. i just hope i will find eventually a brilliant way with whatever skills i have. photography.. architecture.. handicrafts.. hmm.. cooking? hurhur..
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why is that you can have such freedom in my world, but i can’t in yours..? =|
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after all these while that we’ve been together…
all i want from you is only a heart that is true. even till now, why can’t you just speak to me. why can’t we just talk…
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why is it so hard to draw a perfect heart shape?
.. isn’t it because someone always loves more. and the other, well, just loves less..
just wondering.
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sometimes i wonder, if i’m doing the right thing by falling for you. i like it the way we are now, having fun with the close circle of friends that we share, having you, also having the rest.. =) i’m not about to let things change. i don’t want to. i’m scared.. i’m afraid things would turn out for the worse if ever we decide to be together…
but i like you, it’s true. and i’m also not about to let this chance to have you slip by. last night with you, it was like a dream… so fleeting, so truly blissful, but so surreal. i long for more of such dreams to play out.. in the hopes that it will become reality one day.
have you ever wondered why i’ve been so nice to you? or at least, I’ve been trying to, to always be there for you. that’s because i know that back home, u must be a daddy’s girl, the loved lovely little thing you are to him. and i wish to keep on protecting you, spoiling you, for as long as your daddy isn’t by your side, so that you can still be the pure and innocent girl in a tough world out there. i know i never could do as much. but i try nonetheless.. and that’s because i like you.
do you feel it..?
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earlier on in the train, as i picked that strayed strand of hair from the side of her lips as she rambled on.. i was truly happy =)
It's just me. 