It’s just me.

Hmm.. It’s 2 days to my most feared papers of all. GP is so unpredictable!.. at least for me. Mr Tong says I can’t be failing. I really hope I don’t. And more a reason to be praying intensively, ironically, is actually fearing anything lesser than B3. I really hope I can achieve my goal=D

Went to see “An Inconvenient Truth”. Though it’s only an hour’s show, it is definitely well worth the 7 bucks okie. To put it crudely, it’s an excellent source for GP material.. that is, if you are that GP-minded. After all that Al Gore speaks of, as if like a propanganda, I feel so compelled to save my earth!.. Lol. Seriously speaking, I believe it is a necessary film. So can I stress here that I encourage everyone to catch it before it’s pulled out of screen due to extreme public indifference, judging by the numbers yesterday.. and it’s like only showing on GV?

Today’s mass tutorial marks the last lesson of GP tuition for good. Hmm..

I’m already so used to dining out at bugis with friends on friday evenings and having late night tuition so much so that I believe there’d be a little less happiness in life from now. It’s always been a great joy attending GP tuition, because you really gain a lot, laugh a lot, think a lot. And I think I will miss this place a lot too.

I truly revere Mr Tong for his generous and unpretentious attitude towards others. Seriously you got to experience it to believe; all of us started off being very skeptical, didn’t we? Really, I must consider myself very fortunate to have met him. And he’s probably the one who made me love GP, I guess.

During class today he showed off the design of the collar pin he’s getting for all of us as a farewell gift. And I’m telling you it looks so kewl! Haha. Finally I can be doing my part in educating the mass that “Africa is not a country.”

BUT whoever will think Africa is a country!? If I knew it as a continent since my ‘pamper’ days… it must take an atrociously dumb creature fit to be a pig to not know this. But hey, I think pigs are even smarter lor. For god’s sake, famous Rwanda is a land of starving black people (no offence) and since ‘black’ countries are in Africa, how can Africa still be a country?… If not for them, save a little dignity for oneself at least.

For once festivities don’t appeal to me. Holidays or not, there isn’t much difference it seems. Life goes on. Mugging continues as usual. Just perhaps, allow me a huge sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Today’s practically a whole day camping out. First the GP mass tutorial @ NLB till 11.30am, then mugging at Mc till 8 before leaving for dinner at Hans and after that, consultation with Mr Tong at 9 till 11.45pm. This is crazy.

Anyway I feel freaking sucky right now. I had thought it was a pretty amazing essay written on my part with 7 paras within the time limit. Yet I still missed the crucial component to necessarily allow for that A. “Is equality for all a realistic and desirable aim within a society?” Is that very tough (if it is tough at all)? Just what is wrong with me la. Why can’t I simply think along that perspective after all those lessons? At 33/50, now that it seems so near to reach my goal.. but is it really worth the sacrifice? It’s not as if my other core subjects are that well off to afford any further negligence. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW!!! feeling so screwed…

Here with a piece of good news for meself=D Haha, I’ve been selected for the baggage crew manager post! How unbelievable! This goes to show my long hours of wait and anticipation by my email account hasn’t been a waste=D I’m sure it’s a great post A lvls gift from above. Thank you so much! And I can only work harder this time round=D

The path back home.. it was great crushing those sun dried leaves as I walked. So crispy =D

Anyway, went school today. I had cleanly forgotten about getting back my papers from Mrs Tan, so I was rather shocked to receive her sms. Haha.. heng ah she wasn’t angry with me, and I really appreciate her concern.. But why did you have to get pregnant at that point in time!?!?… Haiz

Suddenly I realised something. Perspective is only a matter of how you look at life and the things around you. There’s never right or wrong. It’s also something that can’t be seen, or perhaps, omnipresent, so much so that I think it’s non existent within my vision? Sometimes it works like magic too, if you get the right concoction. And it only takes a slight shift, like a “G” instead of “A” in the genes, to either make the fog clear, or make the clear foggy.. now just how intriguing is that? More often than not I think I am actually controlling it. But giving it a thought, is perspective controlling me instead? I don’t know.. just found this whole perspective thingy so crazy. Ha Ha.

Hmm the interview wasn’t quite what I expected. Haha. But I think I did provide the most lyrical answer they want to hear from a potential candidate.. I hope =x

I feel really touched today. Haha.. I was approaching Mrs Tay this morning during assembly to give her my register number as usual, as she always couldn’t seem to remember any of ours for the last 2 years, only to find that she had already marked my presence. I don’t know if any of my classmates had noticed this happening to them, but I was really touched by this effort of hers. It was a silent and mild acknowledgement, but very comforting to me. Today’s the first day in two years that she marked my attendence without having to ask me for my index no., and it is going to be the last too.. My stay in Nanyang officially ends today with a farewell ceremony, a gift from the teachers and principal I will treasure forever, and ever.

Mr Wan was saying in the morning assembly, “Welcome back J2s, welcome back for the last time.” I was like.. awwh…

We started the day with checking our SGC. Mrs Tay had prepared a little surprise for all of us too, a plastic folder so that the entry proof can be kept dry and water proof, as well as a little inspirational card with some well wishes, nevermind if most of us share the same 肺腑之言 from her. Then she initiated to take a class photo, and I felt really guilty. I had been criticising her for not living up to her role as a civic tutor. I think I wronged her all these while. Maybe she just isn’t that pro with inter personal relations. But it’s all too late to atone my false accusations–It’s already the last assembly, the last CT period. Perhaps what I can do now is to heed her cliche phrase of encouragement, or motivation, whichever is better.. “Eh you all must work very very hard ah.” Haha. Mrs Tay, I will =D

The whole team of JC 2 teachers had come together to dedicate a video of well wishes to their graduating students. Yeah, they were very creative indeed, which could only accentuate their display of sincerity and genuine love for us. As the clips rolled on, I experienced this sense of immense warmth and closeness that could never have been more riveting. It’s just like parents, who had to put up with all the unthinkables of their child, yet at the end of the day, they do not forget to celebrate it’s birthday like it is the most deserving soul; how 1 to 10 can be related to chemistry; the thousand arms physics guru, and Mr kewk’s ‘AAA’ quality rice. I could only express my hearfelt appreciation towards them, and Mr Kewk, with tears of gratitude, though I might not show. I think this is the least I can do. I will always bear in mind, and in my heart, the teachings of Mrs Ho, her lessons on compassion, and Mr Kewk for his tireless devotion to run along with us through the finishing line and his super lame and funny but inspirational jokes. And rest assure I will always live the Nanyang spirit.

There’s this new custom in the college, that all graduating classes are to present a little gift to NY as a token of appreciation. Haha.. all I can say is that there’s gonna be lots of trees by the time I return as an alumnus. Lol.

Some friends came for the open house this afternoon under my influence and I feel very guilty not being able to host them, having offered myself as a guide before=X.. Cos I am so proud to be an NYJCian! Hehe..

Haha I’m so thrilled!! To think I can be shortlisted for the interview to become a baggage crew manager at the standard chartered marathon.. Maybe the post isn’t quite sort after=X Nevertheless I’m not going to let this chance slip by.

It’s always like that. It happened once with the HAP; just when I was beginning to think I couldn’t have gotten into it after months of waiting, the telephone rang. Now it happened again. But this time it is with a slight twist to the script though. So they had sent it to the correct email add addressing the wrong person. Haha. But I must comment they are superduper prompt with my reply. It’s like almost instantaneous. Hah. And it so happens that my sis is somehow involved in the marathon as a volunteer too.. what a stroke of bad luck =D

The old folk’s home visit was disastrous okies. Yah. So the moral of the story is don’t ever pull together a group of first timers and throw them in a home. Duh.. we need training!! Lol. But I think I’m not really cut for doing sharing with old folks, anyway. I’d love to do some hands on though.. as in hands on a piece of cleaning rag or some stuff like that.=D

In the mean time while waiting for them to set things up (we were one hour early), we headed down to a kopitiam at the central, which happens to be the place a bus to school (and back) always passes by. As the WEC aunties were happily chatting away we decided to utilise the time wisely on our october’s monthly meeting. Haha.. fancy using a scrap piece of paper to minute and note the discussion.

Okies blah blah blah.. then it came to the most exciting part. Backpacking!! Obviously ’someone’ had popped the big idea of group backpacking earlier on the coach, which later erupted into a fiery and prospective discussion. Some of them have been waiting to splurge away their travel-savings for years, while some couldn’t think of a better way to clear their remaining leaves. Then some just can’t wait to do it again. And there’s me, the only one suffering from cash constraint since I’m still not working yet, no financial independence=X.. yup I don’t like to depend on my dad for sponsorship, except for his yearly free air tickets. Lol. Hmm.. If I can get a part time job in time and if army allows, I might just be flying off early next year.. He he he. But I’m definitely going to spend my first 2000 bucks on a dslr that’s for sure. Hai.. how nice it will be if I have $50000 to live my desired life. I really hope I can get it.

Okies stop dreaming. A lvls is near.

Went for Mr Tong’s lecture @ NLB today. Haha many people seemed so lost cuz those early birds didn’t know where the entrance was before the desk was actually set up. Yeah lor.. so suah gu. lol.

Anyway, I think the 6hr talk on singapore was really rewarding and inspirational, as much as his lessons’ have always been enlightening, in the sense that it allowed me to understand and apprieciate better the society I’m living in and then also begin to self reflect and alter my perspectives of living as person for the better. Perhaps one of the greatest lessons I’ve learnt today is to value a person not for the ‘boxes and labels’ of society one is attached to, but really it’s about how much one is worth as a being. I think this is a very important concept to always bear in mind.

It felt strange to me though, rather disappointing even, that I can’t seem to remember all the content despite the fact that I’ve understood them. It’s as if no matter how hard I try to hold them in my palms, some of it will eventually seap through the gaps in between my fingers.. How sad.

By the way, chongjin made a remark today which I thought was really motivating. “如果这个时候你不相信自己。。。” 我一定要相信自己。

Oh yah I’ll be visiting an old folk’s home this sunday together with the YEC peeps. I’m sure it’s gonna be great fun.. =D Hopefully I can probably gain something form the visit, spiritually, mentally… physically? Haha.