It’s just me.

some people struggle to live for a reason. but others are only struggling just for a chance to live…

there really is no way of seeing life objectively, is there? i wonder if life is ever definable.. even for mine. just maybe, cuz life isn’t that’s why people get lost. Hurhur..

It’s all cuz of Jia^2 la.. what meeting at sm2’s hostel. crazily far mann! which means super ex transport fees!.. which brings me back to the saddening fact that i’m no longer a student… ANW, meeting was great. Hah but seeing the notice that reads, “All scholars…” really freaks me out. So ‘m in scholar land! woo.. hope i managed to get stained by some of their aura =P That aside.. it’s quite an amusing experience to visit literally 2 hdb block full of cheena brainies. lolz.. kkk back to the main agenda, erm yeah had a fun time arguing my point and guess what, i won the voting!! gleeeeeee. Hurhur like big deal. but hey just let me be proud of myself this once, this while. secrets aren’t meant to be divulged so i shall hold my words for the time being. ^^

And i missed the golden opportunity of an hour and a half’s late nite bus ride home by just that weee bit. damn! Haha dunno leh.. i always think sitting in a deserted bus at night is a kewl thing to do. such a luxury don’t you think!? ha ha ha just love the way my thoughts run wild at that kinda setting. lol

the interview today seems fine. it’s a HUGE international firm and mark my word please it really is. that probably explains how i could be so magnanimous as to forgive her for making me wait half an hour despite the fact that i was strictly punctual. i’d love to be working there.. =D

Life is so full of ironies.. isn’t it?

Haha. been lazing around at home these days. ROTTING liao. Okies never mind. n i’ve lost count of the number of emails i’d to draft-.- Haha been mass sending emails to potential bosses, sponsors, performers… lolz. sians.

Finally i got to swim again today! yay. then we decided that the best place to shop for cheap and unique wears could be chinatown. so there we went. yup indeed, bought a top. niceee =) Had an early dinner before leaving.

Then pillai had the sudden interest to visit the garnesh’s temple on our way to outram park mrt station (travel fare really matters). He says it hasn’t been cleaned for what i presume to be decades judging from the age of its architechure.. gross! those mossy corners. And to think you must be waking bare footed.. *shrugs* Honestly i felt super disgusted by the ground my flesh was directly interacting with. There’s a very special form of prayer in that temple though. so we went along circling the huge alter 21 times. some obasangs even had a counter.. lolz—heard they were doing the 108 rounds one. HAHA it looked really hilarious, never mind the fact that i was the sould non indian doing the rounds and putting ash on my forehead. Later i learned that garnesh’s mother lives just streets away, while his dad lives in.. geylang? XD haha and the story of how garnesh ended up with his elephant head is even more amusing.

then i dragged him along to our meeting with glenn. damn kewl, his studio!! and i’m sure it was a really fruitful session for the group of us there; I’ve learnt so much mann.. =) Haha though it has brought quite a disaster to the foundation of My Show 2007…

Err.. Electrico replied to my invitation!! so nice and quick of them.. so touched=) Haha. not like ronin… Lol just kidding.

Anyway JAC called and offered me a really good deal this afternoon. so am going for the interview coming tuesday. wish me luck!! ^^

HAHA. oh, i am.. =D

Sianz.. been rotting at home for the past 2 days already. I can’t take it anymore! I’m beginning to question if my decision in rejecting the two job offers was a wise move… anyway recruit express rang me up again this afternoon to confirm some details again so am waiting for their next and then i’ll probably grab that one le.

haha had a chat with chong jin the cockster. lolz. sad la. office no air con.. low pay.. cannot surf porn *oops!*.. and still have to slog away while grandpa’s playing mahjong in the office. Sian lor for him. but you see, this guy’s a filial son! wooot.. can’t tell hor.

Think I more less sensed how long I’ve been isolating my piano, like there’s this sudden urge today to take on the keys again. niceeeeeee =) Piano is always a favourite pastime.. but I can’t imagine myself having spent the rest of the afternoon there…

Was late for the YEC meeting again last night BUT I wasn’t the latest.. so yeah that’s a bit of evasion from guilt. content’s as usual. some updates on the goings of my show 2007 too. okies kind of mono isn’t it.

well.. there seem to be a lot of things for me to do. but.. i don’t know，I feel as if i got this impulsion to chuck them aside and just sit and stare. maybe i need to be pushed.. prolly have to begin sorting things out asap and start tackling them already.

Been finding myself glaring cluelessly at the computer screen lately through the night not knowing what i’m here for just to find reason–as silly as it is–to turn in late like i’ve always done and prolly in an attempt to preserve the habit, or tradition i guess, for fear that my life will turn topsy turvy like it will if i don’t. then.. it’s prolly time for more dvd rentals ba. Okies maybe not. I’m just waiting for this fish tale to be done loading which is taking ages to. grrr.

hey i just found out a kewl thing: luther vandross=LV= louis vuitton. hahaha okies lame. but anyway luther vandross rocks.

hahaz. i believe you. yea nice story!

It’s supposed to be a moving tale right.. but i just couldn’t tear. i have a strong feeling that it’s because of the writing style of kay hwa. it’s like, i feel my evoked state of mind was persistently interrupted lor. and i guess perhaps it’s also because i couldn’t appreciate it from a girl’s point of view ba. and lastly.. the hit, which i think should be the background music that works in to stir up the whole climax.. haha it just doesn’t work on me. i’ve heard that piece a thousand times before to be able to connect the melody with the context of the story.. lol.

BUT

chapter 18, 19, 20 just you wait!! i’m coming to get you! haha..

hello ma’am, i’m not a weakling!

seriously la, do i look like one pampered mummy’s boy who falls in the slightest hardship? the lady boss didn’t seem to have observed that ‘obs’ on mi shirt apparently. err.. then could my bloody face have betrayed me? it’s not to be mistaken however that i’m venging for injustice and personal insult but really she does behave like a blur queen. like really! sometimes it got a little too hilarious to even hold back my snickers.. lol

of the 5 guys there she’s always asking me weird questions like “do you have a gf?” erm “7 to 7 you know? will your parents be okie?” like what the hell!! and each time i try to reassure her that she can have my fullest commitment, it’s always the kind of unconvinced feeling of hers that i get. psst, guys’ sixth sense can be strong too.

And i guess it clearly worked out right, cuz i haven’t received a call yet. anyhow, i screwed the interview big time, like, i didn’t managed to optimise my selling point.. and to a certain extent  i thought i made a couple of silly blunders too… =X

whatever la…

Day out with KE. Bought a soundtrack and a film that’s kogitsune helen from hmv. the one at city hall.

met mr tong at s.o.t. to settle some payment and also to consult on tuition matters.

Shopped at bugis and bugis village. got a top, a pants, a belt, prolly for CNY i guess.

dinner at pasta mania.

attended the focus group’s session to feedback on the magazine s.o.t.’s gonna publish.

home.

so much for ur optimism and high hopes. it’s come crumbling down like the twin towers.

in an extremely blue mood now. so that’s it for now.

hohoho.. yea. yesterday’s really the last day of school already. feels weird. like everything suddenly seems to stop. my world’s dead. my world’s dead! errr. of course that’s not true la..

Took some last minute snap shots of the working place, with kharti, ms yong, the all effing messed up desk.. just can’t bear to leave la =X

perhaps a couple of trivia about this whole week:

- I actually forgot about lunchES
- only male teacher to have his shirt tucked out
- met more people in a week than i ever have in my life
- relieved more than 10 classes from sec 1 to 4
- had more greetings than i can possibly count as a result
- somebody said “cher ur cool, handsome and funny!”
- peeps couldn’t bear my departure..? errr hahaz
- slipped and almost fell on the same stretch of path 5 times in a row

pillai had phoned me up again yesterday for a day out. like first in a few months? that’s very very long, considering we see each other almost everyday just that few months before. but it’s a real relief that things didn’t turn out an outrageous cold war.. since i lost his contact though not deliberately (but carelessly) twice through this period…

Sooo.. we headed down to taka. to finish off my interview first at recruit express, again. kewl enough, the consultant interviewing me is a chio amiable gabby funky college grad like me.

J: so.. why did you wanna quit?
T: oh. erm it’s a v long story you know. only if you care to hear me through…
J: sure. why not? sounds interesting (face aglow with seemingly great interest)

Then i was struggling over which album to buy at HMV. cuz on one hand i was really excited about showing folks at home the great kogitsune helen. but ultimately, corrine may won over my heart ^-^ niceeeeee…

And i tell you i almost died of excessive esctasy dosage when i saw the price tag on 休み時間. SGD 73! HA HA HA. me is so lucky to escape the knife of that music store mann.

———————————-

Is it really true that as one matures, infatuation objects become merely eye candies..? that then, love becomes a place only for the truly truly special? i almost can’t understand it anymore.

if there’s a destiny awaiting for its cue..

Or.. is it simply that, i still can’t forget you..